In trying to move forward to my “Breakthrough Goal”, I often feel like a little wind-up toy that keeps bumping into walls and bouncing off of baseboards. I suppose, to take the analogy further…sometimes those little toys go so fast they collide with an object, flip upside down and lay there, wheels spinning, rotating and vibrating, never getting any where. Finally the momentum slows and the toy stops completely. Not an inspirational image.
I was thinking about this in the early wee hours one morning, wishing I could return to sleep. To pass the time I chose to visualize the next steps to my goal and try to figure out why I felt so Stopped. There was a repetitive familiarity to the labels on the glass walls that I kept bumping. “Money”–I don’t have much and it is necessary to move ahead, and the other Stopper is “Fear”.
Fear. Forceful power phrases assault my thoughts whenever I edge to the brink of comfort. “Don’t do that, people will think you are a dork. You will look so stupid. People will make fun of you when it fails. You aren’t professional enough. ‘Regular’ people never really succeed on that large of a scale…”
Okay. Money and Fear. Here’s the mind game I played as I lay wrapped in the cocoon of my blanket. I asked myself, “If money were endless, and you had absolutely no fear, what would your next step be?”
Immediately I thought clearly of situations that I had been avoiding and what needed to be done to move forward.
Hmmm. That was interesting. “Okay,” I thought next, “assuming that those first steps just went great, what doors would then be opened to me?”
Again, I had immediate inspiration of what to try next. Simultaneously I felt my heart pound and the “Warning, warning, Embarrassment Alert!!” rang in my head. I reminded myself this was only an exercise in logic, I could calm down.
“Remember, if there was absolutely no fear and all the money you needed, would those activities and choices help you move ahead?”
I took a slow breath, and pondered. It was SO interesting to be able to think with logic–“Cause and Effect”. I could see that some of those steps looming ahead were very helpful and a few were definitely not. That surprised me. Even if I had all the money and courage that I needed, some of my speculative plans weren’t the right direction for me.
I was stunned to discover how much clearer I could think using my imaginary Courage & Money scenario. New ideas popped into my mind. Logical steps began to evolve that I hadn’t before considered.
What if Fear is not really fearful? Even NFL quarterbacks feel butterflies when they step onto the field for the Super Bowl. Try this on as a re-frame: “Fear is the gateway to Success.”
Take some deep breaths and move forward.